


Secrets and Truths

by 3ALover



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst, Friendship, M/M, Misunderstandings, No cheating, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-11-10 21:28:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11135037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3ALover/pseuds/3ALover
Summary: When someone Yuzuru respects greatly thinks that he and Javier are doing something they shouldn't, it is hard for Yuzuru to deal with the shame.Also available inRussian





	Secrets and Truths

**Author's Note:**

> This another request! After last fic, someone wanted a fic where somebody thinks Javi is cheating with Yuzuru but it is not what it seems, so I decided to use the Fantasy On Ice 2017 skating shows as the backdrop for that!
> 
> As always, English is not my first language but my friend checks my English so it should be mostly okay!

It wasn’t that Yuzuru didn’t realize he was _Yuzuru Hanyu_ , one of the most famous figure skaters ever, it was just that it was hard to really understand that sometimes. Sometimes everything still felt like a dream. 

Specifically having his idol, _Johnny Weir_ , someone he still could barely speak correct sentences around, fixing his hair before rehearsals to try and get it to stay out of his face. 

Also, it was really hard to play it cool and act like Yuzuru Hanyu instead of Yuzuru, the little boy with Johnny Weir posters all over his bedroom, when his friends, who all knew damn well he was having an attack of the Little Fan Yuzuru feelings, were all teasing him from across the dressing room. “So, Yuzu-kun, how does it feel to get your hair done by the most fashionable member of the cast?” Nobu asked him and Yuzuru glared at him in the reflection of the mirror. 

At least Shoma spoke Japanese when he teased, “I think his hands are shaking because he’s trying too hard to contain his fanboy excitement.”

“I know enough Japanese to know that was teasing, Shoma-kun,” Johnny muttered while focusing on rubbing product into Yuzuru’s hair. “Teasing isn’t nice,” he said and Yuzuru blushed, because he knew Johnny knew why they were teasing him. 

“Awww, it’s not teasing if it’s from friends,” Javier offered from where he sat lacing up his skates. “You can ask Yuzuru, I _never_ tease him.”

Yuzuru scoffed. “Yeah, right,” he said, looking at Javi in the mirror. 

Javier smirked pointedly and Yuzuru narrowed his eyes at his reflection warningly, but it didn’t work. “Well, not _that_ kind of teasing,” he said with a wink and Yuzuru flushed all the way to his ears. Nobu and Shoma both made inquiring noises and laughed at the implication, but Johnny raised an eyebrow at him in the mirror, only making him blush more. “Alright, let’s leave our stylist to try and fix Yuzuru’s hair with some miracle the rest of us have yet to discover,” Javier said once his skates were on. The other two got up, already chattering away about Yuzuru’s fanboy bashfulness when they walked out ahead of Javier.

“Alright, I’ll have him out in a minute,” Johnny called as they left. Yuzuru tried to make his blush fade, but sadly he still hadn’t acquired that superpower. After they were gone for a minute Johnny reached for hairspray and looked at him in the mirror. “What’s up with that whole situation?” he asked, shaking the can. 

Yuzuru knew playing dumb wasn’t his strong suit, but he had to try it. “Huh? What situation?”

Johnny gave him a pointed look. “Oh, my Pooh Bear, you know you’re a bad liar, right?” He poked him in the cheek, making him giggle. “Since when do Papi and Pooh flirt?” he asked and Yuzuru ducked his eyes. Johnny hummed.

Yuzuru glanced up. “It’s not what it seems,” he muttered, and Johnny tutted as he started spraying his hair. 

“Last I heard, and saw already just today, Mr. Fernandez has a lady-friend,” he said in a measured, non-accusing tone. “Look, Yuzu,” he said in a softer tone. “It’s none of my business, and I know that, but you don’t strike me as the type,” he said with a pointed look in the mirror.

Yuzuru frowned. “Type?” he asked in confusion.

“Darling,” he said, putting a hand on his hip as he gestured with the hairspray. “Take it from me.” He leaning closer to look at him in the mirror from his own level. “As someone who knows very well how terrible it is to find out your man is running around on you, that lady of his is a sweet girl who doesn’t deserve that at all.” His voice was gentle but his eyes were pretty stern, though not unkind. “And you are too good of a man to be the kind of jerk that becomes the ‘other woman’.”

Yuzuru’s eyes widened. “I’m not-“ He stopped, swallowing to look down at his lap. “It is not the thing you think.”

Johnny hummed softly. “Well that’s good then,” he said simply. He sprayed Yuzuru’s hair then leaned in and kissed his cheek. “I guess I can’t say much, I flirt with all my friends, too,” he joked, and Yuzuru’s face turned _bright red_. “There’s my pretty pink Pooh!”

Yuzuru stuttered out a thank you for his hair and then all but ran out of the room as fast as his skated feet could take him, his face on fire.

~

Yuzuru was still red when he joined the others to warm up before rehearsal, and it didn’t help when Johnny finally joined them and immediately Stephane Lambiel shouted, “Are you done playing mama now?” at him and everybody laughed.

Johnny rolled his eyes. “You’ll be singing another tune when I’m the reason you don’t get sick,” he accused, then veered right and wrapped his arms around Shoma. “Besides, this is the one I’m adopting, not Yuzu-kun,” he said, and Yuzuru laughed at the confused look on Shoma’s face.

“Shoma-kun, you want to Johnny to be your new mom?” Yuzuru teased and Shoma rolled his eyes. 

“Am adult man,” Shoma grumbled in English and Johnny tutted, finally letting him go.

“All you young’uns are babies to us old folks,” he rebutted, stretching his arms over his head.

Javier smiled at him as he skated past. “You’re far from old, come on.”

Yuzuru smirked. “Yeah, you not old, just Javi.” Javier gave him a mock-gasp, putting a hand to his chest and Yuzuru cooed, petting his shoulder. “See? Poor Ojiisan, he has heart problem he so old.” Yuzuru squealed when Javier grabbed him around the waist and picked him up. “No, Javi too old, you break hip picking me up!” he giggled as Javier spun around with Yuzuru’s skates off the ice.

Everybody laughed at them and Stephane skated over, stopping beside Johnny to watch them, much to Yuzuru’s embarrassment. “Oh, are we pairs skating now? Fun!” he joked and Javier finally put Yuzuru back to his feet.

“Hey, you joke, but Yuzuru loves being lifted,” Javier said making Yuzuru roll his eyes. “He’s so tiny pairs skaters don’t find it hard at all to lift him over their heads.”

Johnny snickered. “Skinny bitch,” he said with a wink. “I’m too fat to be lifted, but I love being thrown,” he said, and Stephane groaned.

“He really does. I hurt my back last time we did that,” he said, poking his friend in the side.

Yuzuru perked up. “You can do throw jumps?! Oh my God, that’s so cool!” he gushed, unable to help himself. “Oooh, Javi, I wanna try that, you throw me?” he asked, and Javier rolled his eyes.

“Yes, and then I will be blamed for breaking Yuzuru Hanyu’s leg right before an Olympic year. Fat chance,” he said, looking Yuzuru in the eyes. “Brian would fly here from the middle of his vacation and _murder me_.”

Yuzuru whined. “But Javi, it sounds fun!”

“It isn’t that hard,” Johnny said, shrugging. He batted his eyelashes at Stephane. “Demonstration, Dearest? Your back should be fine,” he said and Yuzuru gave Stephane a big hopeful look when he glanced over there. 

“Oh my God, I hate you,” he laughed as he grabbed Johnny’s hand and tugged him around. “Only once,” he said, and Yuzuru watched with rapt attention as they skated off to gain momentum. 

“Oh hey, what’s going on?” Nobu asked as he skated up beside Yuzuru and Javier, who was still standing behind Yuzuru. They all watched as Stephane and Johnny neared and then did a perfect throw jump.

Yuzuru squeaked in spite of his best efforts not to and clapped. “Oh my God that was amazing!” he said excitedly. “I have to learn how to do that,” he said and Javier rolled his eyes. 

Stephane chuckled as he and Johnny skated back over. “I think he’s crazy, but Johnny loves it.”

Johnny struck a pose. “I just love the attention.” He skated backwards away from them some and struck a pose.

Yuzuru grinned. “Just instead of being silly like Javi when he wants attention, you do cool things!”

Javier scoffed. “What is this, make fun of Javi day?” 

“Well you were making fun of him earlier, Papi,” Johnny said, grabbing Yuzuru around the shoulders to hug him from behind, making Yuzuru blush again. “It’s only fair,” he said with a wink before skating away. Yuzuru blushed more when Shoma and Javier both grinned at his pink cheeks. 

“Stop it,” he whined, then skated away, deciding to go do some jumps while they waited for the music and lights to get sorted out to start rehearsal. 

~

Yuzuru lay on the floor rolling out his hips while the others warmed up for the second day of rehearsals around the backstage area. “Javi, can you help me?” After a moment Javier leaned over his head and Yuzuru looked up at him.

“What?” Javi asked, and Yuzuru held out his hand. Javier pulled him up and grinned. “Did you just need help getting up?”

Yuzuru shook his head. “My back is tense. Can you do the thing to help?” he asked, and Javier raised an eyebrow. “You know.” Yuzuru did a complicated gesture. ‘With your back and my back?”

Nobu burst out laughing from across the room. “What on earth are you asking him to do, Yuzu-kun?”

Javier shook his head. “I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about, Yuzu.”

Yuzuru made a frustrated noise and tried to think of what it was called he wanted Javier to do, only to have a hand land on his shoulder. “I’ve got you, Yuzuru,” _Evgeni Plushenko_ said. Yuzuru could feel his face heating up even as Evgeni stood back to back with him and hooked his arms, bending over so that Yuzuru’s back bent over his.

“Oooh, that!” Javier said, laughing. “I didn’t know what you were asking,” he said, and Yuzuru just relaxed, wiggling his fingers and toes to try and let his back stretch out without resistance.

“Careful not to throw out your back, Zhenya,” Johnny’s voice suddenly rang out and Yuzuru turned his head enough to see Johnny walking in with a bottle of water in his hand.

“Pah, this one weighs less than my kids,” he said and Yuzuru huffed.

“I am not that small!” he whined, glaring at the snickering he heard from somewhere above him. “Shoma-kun, I hear you, and you don’t get to laugh, you are so much smaller than me!” he complained, and Shoma practically cackled in response.

When Yuzuru was done and back on his feet, he stretched his arms over his head and rolled his neck a few times. “You didn’t get hurt, did you?” Javier asked in a softer tone as he stepped up and put a hand on either side of his neck, rubbing at the muscles there.

Yuzuru shook his head, smiling up at the concern in Javier’s big, brown eyes. “No, just sleep weird. I am fine,” he said, and Javier nodded, sliding his hand to curl around the side of Yuzuru’s neck.

“Okay,” he said, stepping away from him to go stretch on his own.

Yuzuru saw the look Johnny gave him when he turned around and he immediately ducked his head, knowing what exactly he was thinking about that little exchange.

~

Yuzuru was free to leave after the group rehearsal and his own individual practice, but he couldn’t tear himself away from watching everybody else skate. He watched Johnny’s individual practice with rapt attention. “Still forever a fanboy,” Javier said in a warm, teasing tone as he stepped up behind him and put an arm around his waist.

Yuzuru blushed, but didn’t take his eyes off the beautiful lines Johnny was skating. “It’s just so beautiful. Nobody looks so graceful on the ice.”

Javier scoffed. “You’ve never seen yourself, then,” he said and Yuzuru ducked his head some. Javier’s hand tightened low on his waist as he spoke softly, breath tickling Yuzuru’s neck. “You move so fluidly, as if you’re made of water and light. Sometimes you have to compromise to score higher, but when you skate something like your this year exhibition skate, you move like a ballerina, more graceful and beautiful than any of the worlds Johnny Weir’s.”

Yuzuru turned and met his eyes, smiling slightly as he licked his lip before speaking. “Javi, I know I skate pretty, but I will never be Johnny Weir beautiful,” he said and the flirtation in Javier’s eyes turned to frustration.

“You’re driving me crazy, Yuzuruuuu,” he whined, grabbing his waist with both hands to tickle. “You’re the most incredible figure skater in probably all of history and yet you won’t believe me,” he grumbled in mock frustration.

Yuzuru giggled at the way Javier’s fingers tickled his waist. “Javi, stop, I’m too tired,” he complained, grabbing his hands and holding them still. Javier stopped, looping them around to rest on his middle while he laid his chin on Yuzuru’s shoulder. “I am not the best skater in ever, you are biased,” he informed him and Javier smirked.

“True, I am that,” he purred, fingertips teasing along the bottom of his shirt just enough to make Yuzuru blush and narrow his eyes at him.

Suddenly the scrape of blades on ice startled them into looking forward as Johnny got ready to leave the ice directly towards them. “Awww, were you watching an old bitty like me skate?” he joked as he passed them to go off the ice. 

“Yuzuru was being a good little fan,” Javier teased, stepping away from him and Yuzuru glared at him, cheeks going pink.

Johnny grinned as he pushed his hair back out of his face. “Awww you mean you weren’t watching me, too, Papi?” he flirted dramatically, fluttering his eyelashes at him as he put on his skate guards as they headed away from the ice and towards the dressing rooms. 

Javier held his arm out to Johnny and gave his most charming smirk. “Of course I was, Querido, how could anyone look away from such beauty,” he flirted back and Yuzuru giggled at them as he followed them.

“Oooh, Mr. Fernandez, with that kinda talk a girl could get all sorts of ideas,” Johnny teased, ‘fanning’ himself. When they headed into the dressing room, Javier bowed dramatically and gestured for Johnny to go first, starting up a gale of laughter from inside. 

“Finally so old you have to be escorted off the ice, huh?” Stephane teased from where he sat on the couch and Johnny waved a finger at him.

“I’m not even an entire year older than you,” he said, going to flop down right beside Stephane just to bother him as he started getting his skates off. “I had an audience practicing, and I wasn’t going to turn down a little stroll with a handsome fella,” he said, winking at Javier who just smirked back. 

Stephane elbowed him. “Closest thing you’ve had to a date in a year, isn’t it,” he joked and Johnny dropped his skate right in Stephane’s lap, making him complain about getting his pants wet. 

“The life of the old and single, huh? I know that well,” Akiko joked from where she sat at the makeup counter, and Yuzuru frowned.

“Didn’t you get married this year, Suzuki-san?” he asked her and she laughed, nodding.

“Yes, but I still know the feeling even if I’m not anymore, Yuzu-kun,” she joked.

Javier grinned. “Awww, but how could anyone resist such a beautiful face,” he said with a dramatic clutch of his chest to Johnny. “Any man would be so lucky!”

Yuzuru laughed, and Johnny snickered and wagged a finger. “A man as charming as you, Javier Fernandez, is a dangerous thing. Also you tell a lie very convincingly,” he added with a wink. He flopped back against the seat. “I’m getting wrinkles like Stephane’s old ass,” he said, earning a glare from his friend.

Yuzuru giggled. “Is your hair turn white like Javi?” he teased, reaching out to poke at Javier’s temple, making him swat his hand away.

“My hair is not going gray, you little-“

“It is! Right there!” Yuzuru said, pushing a curl out of the way. “You have white hair above ears! Poor Javi, he so old he have white hair and it is going!”

Javier gaped. “What?!” he demanded and Yuzuru giggled, pushing at his hair.

“You know, forehead is more big! Here,” he said, pointing at where Javier’s hairline was. “Hair is going.”

Javier sputtered while everybody laughed. “You little-“ He grabbed for Yuzuru, but Yuzuru just ducked behind the door out of his reach. 

“Aww, it’s okay, age happens to all of us,” Johnny said with a little shrug.

Akiko looked at him. “Yeah, you’ve got to be getting up there, now. I remember you skating _years_ ago.”

Johnny nodded. “You’re the same age I was when I retired,” he said pointedly.

Stephane hummed. “You’re older than I was when I did,” he said, then made a face. “I was injured, though.”

“Yeah, me, too,” Johnny said. 

Javier shook his head. “I still feel great. I’ve been very lucky with injuries. I’ve had more than a few people asking if I was going to retire, but honestly, as long as I feel fine, there’s no reason not to keep going.”

“Exactly,” Carolina said from the counter, winking at him in the mirror. 

“Yeah, Miss Carolina over here is almost my age and she’s still competing,” Stephane said. “You, my dear, are proof that age is just a number.”

Yuzuru giggled. “No, that’s Shoma-kun. He has been twelve for seven year now!” he joked.

Johnny sighed dramatically. “Oh my little munchkin! I want to tuck him into my suitcase and take him home with me! The cutest little boy! I want to adopt twelve of him.” He looked at Javier. “Your girlfriend has a little one doesn’t she? That must be so fun for you.”

Yuzuru tensed and Javier’s smile became that one that he put on when he didn’t really want to smile but had to. “Yeah, I have lots of cousins so I’ve always been really good with little kids. We have tons of fun together.” He glanced at Yuzuru, who fixed a tight smile on his face in response. 

There was no missing the way Johnny’s eyes followed his and gave Yuzuru a knowing look.

~

Yuzuru was one of the first people to arrive at the rink for the show in Kobe, and he was the only one in the dressing room when Javier got there. He hadn’t seen him in two weeks, since he went on vacation with Miki, so when his earbud got tugged out of his ear and he looked up from where he sat with his feet up on the makeup counter in one of the chairs (something he knew he shouldn’t do, but did anyways) to see Javier standing behind him, he beamed and turned to look up at him. “You should have send message say you were here,” he said, and Javier just rolled his eyes.

“Wow, such a warm greeting,” he teased and Yuzuru rolled his eyes and stood out of the chair to wrap his arms around Javier’s shoulders. 

“Better?” he asked, tucking his face into Javier’s neck.

Javier’s hands slid to his waist and then his arms curled around Yuzuru entirely, hugging him tight. “Much better.” Yuzuru relaxed into the hold, closing his eyes as he just breathed in him. Whether it was a few days or a few months, the first hug when he and Javier were together again always felt like coming home. 

After a few minutes, however, Javier turned and pressed a kiss to the spot behind Yuzuru’s ear. “Querido,” he purred and Yuzuru felt the same warmth in his limbs he always did when Javier used that tone. 

“Javi,” he complained before he could even start. He leaned back as far as Javier’s arms around him would allow and looked at his face, hands resting on his chest. “Anybody could come in any time,” he said firmly.

But when Javier turned those big, brown eyes like a puppy on him, Yuzuru was a weak man. “Nobody will see,” he urged, sliding his hands down lower on Yuzuru’s back, edging dangerously close to his ass. Javier leaned closer, brushing his nose against Yuzuru’s cheek. “I haven’t tasted you in two weeks,” he positively purred and Yuzuru closed his eyes, trying to be strong. “Yuzuru, mi vida, cada momento que no estamos juntos, deseo tu beso príncipe de mi corazón.” Between every few words, Javier’s lips brushed along his jaw, forcing him to tip his head back to avoid his lips, which only allowed him to kiss down his neck. Yuzuru’s breath became ragged as Javier’s hold around his waist took most of his weight and the hands bracing him against Javier’s chest fisted in his shirt, holding onto him instead. 

Yuzuru was nothing if not a sucker for Javier babbling in Spanish what he thought was probably affectionate things but could very well be a list of things he packed for the trip for all Yuzuru knew. The way he said these things and the voice he said them in were Yuzuru’s biggest weakness. “Javi,” he sighed breathlessly and Javier pulled back only far enough to look at Yuzuru, who barely opened his eyes to see his face before closing them again as he pulled Javier into a kiss.

Kissing Javier was like a drug. Yuzuru didn’t actually know what drugs were like, since his whole life had been devoted to a sport that tested for those things, but he would imagine the addictive nature of Javier’s kisses and the flush of relief that crashed over him like waves of broken tension that came with giving in to them was somewhat like an addict finally getting their drug. Yuzuru had never kissed anyone who could so thoroughly ruin him with just a kiss the way Javier could. Every brush of his lips made Yuzuru want more, and every touch of his tongue sent pleasure and want coursing through his veins. 

The first few times they kissed, Yuzuru worried his lack of experience relative to Javier’s must be a let-down, but only a few times, because once he learned to just give in and enjoy it, he couldn’t bother caring if Javier didn’t think he was a good enough kisser. He never seemed to not want Yuzuru’s kisses, so Javier must like them well enough. 

Yuzuru knew where they were and that they couldn’t get too carried away, but he hadn’t seen Javier in two weeks and his body knew what it wanted even if his brain knew better, which was how he ended up leaned back against the makeup counter, his arms around Javier, one hand sunk into his curls, the other fisted in his shirt while Javier’s hands roamed all over his body while their kisses became sloppy and deep, the kind of kisses that would have definitely led to more if they were in Javier’s apartment, not in a skating rink dressing room, having to settle for touches above the clothes and kisses.

Not that that was ‘settling’ for much when it came to Javier. 

Yuzuru could never hold in whimpered sighs and soft moans when he and Javier made out (he was positively ridiculous with the sounds in bed, and he knew it), and Javier’s answering groans came every time Yuzuru’s fingertips dug into his chest when he twisted the handful of shirt he held or tugged on a curl at the base of his neck.

Because of that, there wasn’t enough warning to tell them to separate and move far apart to cover what they were doing before the door swung open and they both jerked apart and looked up to see Johnny Weir, one of Yuzuru’s favorite people in the whole world, standing there with his sunglasses halfway up to his forehead and his jaw hanging open. Javier snatched his hands away from Yuzuru and turned to walk a few steps away, putting his back to the door as he tried to straighten his clothes, but Yuzuru was frozen, leaning back against the mirror with his hand over his mouth and his eyes wide as they stared right at Johnny.

Johnny closed his mouth with a snap and pushed his glasses on his head finally. “Well, hello, fellas,” he said as if he hadn’t seen anything untoward when he arrived. Yuzuru started to say something, anything, but the sound of more footsteps approached the open doorway and Shoma came in talking with Mai and Kaori, looking smug to not be the youngest person in the conversation. “Hey, ladies,” Johnny said, turning away from Yuzuru, who put his hands on his hot cheeks and turned to the mirror to see how bad he was blushing, willing his face to go white again. He looked up to see Javier sitting on the couch against the opposite wall with a startled look on his face as he met Yuzuru’s eye sin the mirror. 

“Yuzu-kun, you okay?” Shoma asked, and Yuzuru turned to him quickly, putting on a big smile.

“I- I- uh-“

“Yuzuru is just embarrassed because I walked in on him singing and dancing since nobody else was here yet,” Johnny said quickly as he went to put his bag on the floor beside the mirror. “Right, Yuzu-kun?” he said, and Yuzuru swallowed hard but nodded, meeting Johnny’s gaze, one that was filled with disappointment which made Yuzuru feel sick to his stomach.

“Hai,” he said softly, turning away as quickly as possible to avoid the shame he felt at the way one of his lifelong idols looked at him with such disappointment. 

~

The days of the show were some of the longest of his life. Yuzuru felt like at any moment everyone would look at him and just _know_. It was stupid, because if anybody _did_ know it wasn’t like any of these people would blab. Two of the men were openly gay and all of his fellow countrymen would understand why nobody could tell. The others wouldn’t want to hurt a fellow skater by starting rumors. 

But he felt like everyone could see his shame because Johnny didn’t talk to him as much as he had last show and it was clearly from disappointment. For all he said it was none of his business, it was easy to understand why Johnny would be disappointed in him. 

When it ended and he and Javier went to his home, he barely managed to put on a happy face for his family. Eventually, spending two weeks in his hometown with Javier pulled him from his shameful hole, but it only lasted until they were due to leave for Niigata.

The night before they left, Yuzuru lay awake long after he thought Javier had fallen asleep. He was only corrected from his confusion by Javier rolling over in the bed behind him and curling an arm around his waist. “Yuzuru, you usually sleep well after we make love,” he murmured, sliding his hand up to rest on Yuzuru’s chest, over his heart as he fitted his body to the curve of Yuzuru’s.

Yuzuru relaxed a little at the feeling of his lover’s muscles shifting against his back. When they were naked, Yuzuru could feel when Javier’s chest and stomach flexed and it was always pleasant to know there was nothing keeping them apart. “I’m just nervous about tomorrow.”

Javier hesitated, clearly confused, before he suddenly groaned. “Yuzuruuuu!” He moved and tugged Yuzuru until he was on his back, so that Javier could lean over him, braced on his elbow. “Yuzuru, you have no reason to be worried. It is not like anybody is going to tell the world about us. Johnny Weir was the only one who saw us, and he respects you too much than to tell gossip.”

Yuzuru fidgeted. “Javi, it is like Brian being disappoint. I feel so bad thinking he will see me tomorrow and all he will think is ‘Yuzuru kissed man with girlfriend’,” he finished.

Javier shook his head. “I’m sure he isn’t that disappointed in you-“

“You did not see how he looked at me, Javi, and you don’t know how he didn’t talk to me much after he saw us,” Yuzuru countered. “And he has good reason! He was married and husband cheat on him, now you have girlfriend with a _baby_ and he sees me kissing you and ruin happy family!” Yuzuru put a hand over his eyes. “When nobody know, I never think about how I am the one breaking family. If anybody knows, I won’t be ‘Olympic champion Yuzuru Hanyu’, I will be ‘other woman Yuzuru Hanyu’, Javi.”

Javier ducked his head and didn’t answer for a moment. “Okay.” He leaned down and kissed Yuzuru’s head. “I understand why you are so worried. But Yuzuru, nobody will know. I promise.”

Yuzuru rolled onto his side, putting his back to Javier. “You cannot promise something that is not your control.”

Javier didn’t respond other than to curl up behind him and hold him close. Yuzuru closed his eyes and shut out all the feelings and tried to focus on Javier’s heartbeat against his back instead.

~

Javier saw the way Yuzuru lacked his usual energy the day of rehearsals for the Niigata show, and he could feel Johnny Weir sneaking looks of him and Yuzuru every time he was close to Yuzuru. He knew this whole thing was out of hand, because Yuzuru was miserable and ashamed and Javier had to fix this so that Yuzuru could stop feeling so bad that one of his heroes was disappointed in him. 

After rehearsals, Javier put on his best charming smile and offered his arm to Johnny. “Would the gentleman be free for a drink this evening?” he teased and Johnny grinned as everybody laughed at them. “My treat, of course,” he added.

“Well, a fella can’t turn down that kind of offer, now can he?” Johnny said, then waved dramatically to the others, especially whoever it was who catcalled them – Javier wasn’t sure if it was Stephane Lambiel or Jeffrey Buttle – and allowed Javier to walk him out. 

Javier ignored the look Yuzuru was sending him, knowing Yuzuru wouldn’t say anything or follow them to risk people hearing. When they got away from the others, however, Johnny’s smile slipped into something a little more forced as they made small talk. They went back to the hotel to drop their things, and then instead of just going to the bar at the hotel, Javier took him to a restaurant a few blocks away to keep from anyone seeing them.

Johnny raised an eyebrow when they sat in the bar, finally giving up the façade of friendly. “So what’s this all about? Decided one guy on the side isn’t enough, you need to toss in an older man as your second affair?” he asked bluntly, though surprisingly not unkindly. He didn’t seem judgmental, just brutally honest. “Cause I gotta tell you, Javi, I’m not that type of girl.”

Javier sat back in his seat and shook his head. “No, I’m going to do what Yuzuru is too self-punishing to do and just tell you the truth,” he said simply. They were interrupted by a waiter who took their drink orders, and they waited until she brought them before he leaned forward again, speaking low just on the off chance someone saw them. “I’m going to explain everything, because Yuzuru has been miserable since his ‘childhood hero’ became disappointed in him, because that man takes every single thing to heart.”

Johnny sighed. “Look, I’m not trying to make him feel bad. Let’s just say there’s a personal reason that I’m disappointed at one of the sweetest people I ever met sleeping with somebody that’s taken and becoming that person. It isn’t his fault that I can’t just go fully non-judgmental.”

Javier saw the guilt in his eyes and shook his head. “No, it’s totally fine of you to feel that way, because that is a very wrong thing you think you saw.”

“Think?” Johnny scoffed. “Did you really take me out and buy me a drink to try and convince me you tripped into him or something?”

Javier smiled softly and shook his head, amused. “No, I took you out to buy you a drink and explain that Yuzuru and I have been together for just over three years and my relationship with Miki is not what we tell the world it is.” Johnny looked at him in surprise, raising an eyebrow.

“Ooohhh. Oh.” Johnny looked puzzled but hummed. “Wow. That’s elaborate, Javi, I’ve gotta tell you.” 

Javier chuckled. “No, it’s actually quite simple,” he said in amusement. “Yuzuru and I got together a few months after Sochi,” he said and Johnny looked intrigued. “When he won the Olympic gold, it made him brave enough that, the night after the medals ceremony, when we were hanging out in my room so he could avoid the press, he was riding the high of feeling invincible and kissed me. He was nineteen, and I had never been with a man before, so we didn’t talk about it after that, he just left and went to his room,” he explained. “But after Worlds, we were about to go our separate ways for the summer and even though we didn’t let things be weird in Canada training for Worlds, I couldn’t let things go that way, so we talked and decided to just see what happened,” he said with a shrug. “We knew that if we didn’t work as a couple, we could still train together. We didn’t tell our coach and trainers, we didn’t tell our families, we didn’t tell anybody.”

Johnny looked at him curiously. “Then where does your girlfriend come into this?” he asked, seeming intrigued. 

“I ran into her while doing I was ice shows that summer. Yuzuru and I had them together, too, so it wasn’t like I was away from him and doubting anything, before you get to any conclusions,” he said quickly, and Johnny gave him a flat look. “Miki had just had a baby and her life was all messed up because of the scandal of her refusing to name Himawari’s father. She and I had been friends when we trained together, and we fell back into being friends very easily. We spent a lot of my free time from ice shows together, and she asked me out,” Javier said.

Johnny hummed. “And this _doesn’t_ end in _her_ becoming the other woman, right?”

“Right,” Javier said with a serious nod. “I couldn’t tell her why I couldn’t date her and I couldn’t turn her down without it seeming like I didn’t want to date a woman with a child and hurting her feelings, but after two dates she clearly could tell I wasn’t interested and I really felt guilty even though Yuzuru knew all about it, so I broke down and just told her the truth: that I had a boyfriend who couldn’t be out in his country.” Javier shook his head. “She put two and two together pretty quickly and I couldn’t lie and tell her it wasn’t him. But she still wanted to be friends again and I did, too. I love children and Himawari was so adorable,” he said in a softer tone. 

Johnny relaxed some but leaned forward. “Then why all the covers? Why not just stay in the closet with Yuzuru, why bother with the beard?”

Javier smiled. “Because Miki and I started spending so much time together people actually started rumors that I was Himawari’s father,” he said and Johnny whistled low, suddenly looking like he got it. “And I’m not, but I do love her, so by the fall, we decided to just announce our ‘relationship’. Miki doesn’t want to find anyone else. I have never pushed for her to tell me, but whatever happened with Himawari’s father really hurt her, and I’m a good excuse to not date anybody, and she’s a good way to keep people from noticing how close Yuzuru and I are and jumping to conclusions that are true.” He grinned. “Also I love Himawari. I’m not her father, but Miki wants her to have a father figure and I love her and am happy to be like her step-father.” He nodded his head to the side. “I spent the two weeks between the first two shows with them, having a ‘family’ vacation, and the past two weeks I’ve spent staying with Yuzuru and his parents and sister. His parents know about us and approve of our situation,” he added. “My family knows about the situation as well. Brian knows, too.” 

“You actually have a pretty ingenious plan, there,” Johnny admitted, looking sheepish. “It’s really complicated, but if it all works that smoothly, you guys cracked the code on staying in the closet while in a serious relationship.”

Javier nodded. “You know as well as anybody what Yuzuru’s life would be like if Japan found out he’s gay,” he said softly. “I’m the only man he’s ever been with because he was too scared all his life to let anybody know. The only reason he ever told his family about us is because his mother lives with him in Canada when we’re training and eventually she started to get suspicious about why he practically spent half the week at my house.” He shook his head. “Even I would probably have trouble if it came out I am bisexual, and I live in one of the most accepting places in the world and am from _the_ most accepting place in the world. Yuzuru’s life would be so hard. He would lose sponsors, they would try and hold him back so younger skaters could take his place, his skating career could be irreparably ruined.” Javier put a hand on his chest. “I could survive that, but he couldn’t. He’s the best skater in the world because his heart and soul is in this sport. He is the best because of giving every ounce of himself to it and to his country.” He smiled sadly. “He is the love of my life and I will do anything, including never showing the world how much I love him, if it means protecting him.”

Johnny leaned back in his seat, sipping his drink with a soft smile. “So that’s why you had to educate me on the situation,” he said, looking amused. “Instead of just say ‘screw it’ and let me think what I thought, Yuzuru’s shame at what I thought was going on was too much for you to handle.”

Javier shrugged. “Like I said, I would give anything to make him happy. You know as well as anybody that you and Evgeni Plushenko are gods to him. He can’t bear disappointing anyone, imagine how hard it is for him to take knowing you’re disappointed in him.”

Johnny grimaced. “Oh yeah. I’m gonna have to talk to him for sure.” He snorted. “You have no idea how flattering it is to know probably the best male figure skater to ever live looks up to you.” He shook his head. “I’d be the cockiest bitch ever if I was him.”

“Oh, I would, too,” Javier laughed. “He constantly reminds me how many times I’ve beaten him, but I’m not nearly as humble as he is. If I was him, I would be such a show-off.” He sighed, raising his glass to his lips. “But, it’s one of the hundreds of reasons I love him. He’s so earnest and humble. He’s like an angel of ice skating, sent to inspire millions and never have any of it go to his head.”

Johnny laughed. “Awww, you sap. Be real, how much fun do you have making Yuzuru blush with crap like that?” he asked and Javier smirked and raised his glass.

“Every chance I get.”

~

Yuzuru was a little surprised and confused when Javier refused to tell him what he and Johnny talked about last night, just that it was a good thing, so he was anxious about what might happen when he saw Johnny that morning for practice. He worried he might be even more disappointed in whatever Javier told him, because he had no idea what Javier might have said and how anything could’ve made it better.

Much to his surprise, when everybody left to go out and rehearse, Johnny called his name. “Yuzu-kun, come let me see what can be done about your hair.” Yuzuru frowned, glancing at Javi, who just gave him a long look and caught his hand on the way past, squeezing it comfortingly. When Javier left, it was just him and Johnny alone, so he went over and sat down in the chair Johnny indicated. “You have the same problem I always did,” Johnny said, sliding his fingers through Yuzuru’s hair. “I sweated out anything in my hair, so I just had crazy sex hair by the time I finished all those spins and jumps.”

Yuzuru blushed slightly at the words. “I- I have always had messy hair,” he said, ignoring the words Johnny said.

Johnny hummed, pulling out some bottles from his bag. “So, last night Mr. Fernandez and I had a long talk over cocktails,” he said, and Yuzuru bit his lip, looking at him worriedly in the mirror. Johnny met his eyes with a sad smile. “I’m sorry I made you feel ashamed, Yuzuru. I was trying my best to not act judgmental. Even if you were doing what I thought, it’s not my business what you do in your own life, and I shouldn’t judge you for things entirely unrelated to skating.”

Yuzuru frowned. “What you _think_ I do? What you think I do now?”

“Javi told me the truth,” Johnny said and Yuzuru’s eyes widened slightly. “He explained all about how you two have been together for a long time, before he even reconnected with Miki, and that you two are the couple and he and she are just good friends and he’s trying to be a father figure to her little girl.” Johnny fluffed the ends of his hair, looking at his eyes in the mirror. “It sounded sort of too complicated at first, but there’s no doubting it.”

Yuzuru’s heart tightened. “Oh.” He swallowed hard. “It- it is true. I know it sounds strange, but it- it works for us all. It works really well.” He glanced back up. “How do you know not to doubt?”

Johnny smirked. “Because that man of yours gets all sappy and romantic when he’s talking about you,” he said and Yuzuru giggled and smiled shyly, because he knew exactly what he meant.

“Javi is just good,” he said, touching his chest. “Good heart. He does everything to make me happy.” He scrunched his nose. “It get annoying sometimes, because when I want be mad at him, he just apologize instead of get mad back. He always makes me calm when I get angry and sometimes I just want to be angry,” he said, rolling his eyes.

Johnny laughed out loud. “Oh Yuzuru, you are just a lucky guy.” He slicked his hair back and leaned forward over his shoulder. “You’re able to be in a serious relationship with one of your biggest competition skaters. I barely managed to have a single fellow skater I didn’t have a catty rivalry with when I was competing, and you’ve been dating him.”

Yuzuru shrugged. “I do not have rival. And Javi is my biggest competition, but it is okay, because he is only person I don’t mind losing to,” he said with a soft smile. “I barely know him before we train together, but he was always nice to everybody. And when I came to train with him, I came because I wanted to be good like he is, and he never resents that I did get good like he is.” He shrugged. “Even when we are competing against each other, we can be happy for whoever does better when it is all over.”

“That’s really great, honestly.” Johnny chuckled. “It isn’t my business, but I’m really glad you aren’t ‘the other woman’,” he said. “You’re an amazing person, Yuzuru. You are too good to let somebody turn you into a dirty secret.”

Yuzuru frowned. “I am secret,” he said, and Johnny wagged a finger.

“No, sweetie, you’re being safe. Your career relies on you staying in the closet, and that’s entirely understandable. But Javi said your families know and your coaches know, so you are nobody’s secret,” he said and Yuzuru smiled and nodded.

“Javi has never been ashamed or afraid. He liked me even though he did not like any boys before me,” he said warmly, thinking about Javier. “When we first meet, we could barely talk because my English was almost nothing and his accent is thick, but he just understand me somehow. Sometimes, he even explained to Brian what I was not understanding because when I was frustrated, he just know what it is I want to say but can’t.” He shook his head. “I never stand a chance of not loving him,” he said and Johnny cooed.

“Awww, that’s just sweet.” He winked. “Now go show him your sexy hair-do and see what he thinks,” he teased and Yuzuru laughed, making a face.

“He probably flirt with me in front of everybody, but it’s okay, cause he always flirt.” He stood up and started out, only to stop and turn back to Johnny. “Thank you for talking with me,” he said softly. “I did not like lying after you saw us, but it wasn’t because I did not trust you. I just don’t talk to people about us,” he said and Johnny gave him a knowing look.

“Don’t worry, Yuzu-kun. I like to gossip, but I know how to keep my mouth shut,” he said and Yuzuru thanked him again before leaving.

When he got out to the rink, he made his way over to Javier and skated up beside him, giving him a look. “Javi, you did not have to do that,” he said and Javier just rolled his eyes and slung his arm around Yuzuru’s neck, pulling him into his side in a way that looked just friendly to anybody casually observing. 

“Yes I did,” Javier said, bumping their sides together. “You were sad and I love you too much to stand seeing you sad.”

Yuzuru smiled and nodded. “I love you to, Javi,” he said, sliding his hand down Javier’s side tenderly before skating away to go start rehearsal. 

He could feel Javier’s eyes on him as he left and it made his heart warm to know that everything was okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow a third fic! I did not expect to write this so soon, but someone ask for it and I decide 'why not?' and here we go!
> 
> No idea if I write any other fics soon, but I do take requests so if someone asks for something I feel like writing, I may have another!


End file.
